2025-06-04_hold back

if you’re like me, you might need to hear this: you have to hold back. and be very careful about when, where and to what extents you don’t.

you can’t hold back all the time, since if you do you’ll go under, you’ll lose the flow, you’ll drown in the river of (your) life. but not holding back and opening yourself to everyone and every opportunity will lead to a similar result. you’ll expend all your energy trying to swim as quickly and to as many places as possible. and eventually your body will reach its hard limits. your muscles give out, while your mind holds on a bit longer. trying to convince yourself that you can go on, just a little bit more. but eventually your body gives out in its entirety. and you go under, you lose the flow, you drown.
so: be careful. be sensitive and sensible. with yourself, not just with others. hold back more often than not. because you’ve developed tendencies to swim too fast, to expend too much, to ignore the signs of your sinking.

control is more your friend than your enemy. your incessant need for control is more your enemy than your friend. and your care needs to be your best friend among all them.